Be a Gender Bias-Breaking Badass
So every year, on March 8, the world celebrates International Women’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women, and it marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.
As a woman, either you’ve experienced gender bias directly, or you’ve spent energy preemptively trying to get in front of it.
You might have experienced gender bias in smaller, subtle ways when you were growing up - like seeing boys being picked to be the leader more often than girls, or hearing comments about girls being better at certain subjects like writing or the performing arts, and boys being better at math, science, or sports.
It’s possible you felt it at work. Maybe you were dubbed “too emotional” when the same actions or words from men would probably be seen as empassioned and impactful. Or a woman makes a comment in a meeting, and it’s only when a male echoes her thoughts that the room seems to actually hear it. Or you witnessed qualified women being passed over for a promotion or recognition, while men continued to rise in the organization.
Even if you can’t think of any incidents of gender-based bias that you’ve experienced, it’s possible you’ve adjusted your behaviors to offset or deflect any accusations that you’re not as smart, as capable, as strong, as committed, as male colleagues. I remember feeling compelled to respond to emails after normal working hours, and staying at work until the latest possible time before picking up my kids from daycare, because I was worried that people would think I was somehow less committed or productive after having kids.
And your daughters will likely bump up against gender bias too, if they haven’t already, like an offhand comment from an older relative who has stereotypical gender roles ingrained in his or her mind. Even a surprised reaction when your daughter says she likes and is good at science, reenforces gender biases in a subtle way.
Or – and this is a bit cringy for me to admit - but maybe you remember having some of these biases yourself (before you know better). I can remember when I was maybe 10 years old, being part of conversations where some friends and I expressed skepticism about having female coaches for sports teams in our grade school – even the girls teams. And yet we didn’t stop to question why all the coaches were men. I didn’t think to question the status quo.
While we know gender bias exists, and perhaps recognize shades of it in ourselves, I sometimes feel like it’s hard to wrap my head around what we can do about it, what actionable steps we can take, when the problem is systemic and looms large.
So I thought I’d dig a little deeper into gender bias and identify a few tangible things we can do at work and at home to help break the bias.
Before we go any further, it’s important to note that we all have biases…it’s in our nature. According to a recent Psychology Today article by Mira Brancu, Phd, having a bias means your brain is functioning properly. It means your brain is just trying to do its best to make sense of the overwhelming amount of information coming at it each day.
So we can show ourselves some compassion, acknowledge we’re all human, each with our own ways of processing information, and be grateful for having a filtering mechanism that keeps us from getting overwhelmed. For me that also means I can let go of any guilt for being biased, and free up that energy to focus on what we can do to fight it.
So - what is gender bias? Simply put, gender bias is the tendency to prefer one gender over another.
It occurs when a person receives different treatment based on the person's real or perceived gender identity. Most often, gender bias is the act of favoring men and/or boys over women and/or girls. The most obvious instances of preferential treatment are typically referred to as “sexism”. It shows up in myriad places, from professional settings, to schools, to the home.
Common gender biases against women include:
Performance evaluation bias. In performance reviews, men are rated more often on their potential, whereas women are rate more often on what they’ve already achieved. I wonder if this carries over into assessments in high school and college.
Motherhood bias. This is the bias that assumes women are less committed to their careers and non-family pursuits after they become mothers.
Leadership bias. This is when someone believes that only one type of leadership style, specifically, a traditionally masculine one, works best. It’s the belief, essentially, that women aren’t really meant to be leaders at the highest level.
Benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism is when managers or supervisors make decisions for, instead of with, their female employees, such as reducing their hours or shifting them to internally facing roles, which can derail their careers.
And here’s a sneaky one for us to mull over:
Internalized gender bias. Gender bias or sexism, like other biases, can become internalized by the people experiencing it. Like women may actually believe that men are smarter or better leaders. Maybe this is where my 10-year-old self was when I thought women wouldn’t make good sports coaches.
Another way internalized bias can show up is through “imposter syndrome”, where women start to believe they aren’t good enough. While acknowledging imposter syndrome and helping women boost their feelings of confidence is important, we should also recognize that these feelings of inferiority arise after receiving years, even decades of messaging tell us that.
So focusing on fixing women’s confidence issues without addressing the powerful external forces that are affecting our self-image, we may inadvertently being perpetuating these biases…like if only women were more resilient mentally, we wouldn’t feel like imposters. When in fact — the bulk of the problem is the environment and messaging we’re steeped in, and not an inherent flaw within us.
So now that we know what gender bias is and what it looks like, what are things we can do to counteract it?
In the workplace:
Be an ally, mentor and sponsor for women. We’re all aware of the importance of support that we get from allies. Equally, if not more important, is to have mentors who help women improve and develop skills and cultivate their leadership abilities in a safe environment, and sponsors, who advocate for women and ensure that women are recognized and promoted.
Seek out skill-building opportunities and leadership training. Ask your company what courses or programs they’ll cover that can advance your career. Also, many nonprofits offer leadership training to volunteers who are willing to make a commitment – listen to Ep 26 with Cynthia Changyit Levin, who learned advocacy and leadership skills through volunteering with an organization called RESULTS.
Learn to negotiate for salary and benefits – this might include flexible work hours, etc. This is where a mentor can be helpful in crafting the ask.
If you notice patterns at work, like women leaving the company after they’ve had kids, or women being passed over for a promotion, call this to the attention of your HR department. You could even suggest that a third party conduct an audit of corporate policies to identify paths forward that are more equitable. provide implicit bias trainings. One of my previous guests, Annie Warshaw, she’s a gender justice professor and founder of Mission Propelle, provides services like this to help companies understand where and how they can improve. So they’re out there, and they’re needed, and they make a difference.
This leads me to, how do we inform and counteract gender bias when it comes to our daughters? I read dozens of articles, and here are the top 7 tips I found:
Encourage girls to voice their opinions and thoughts. Studies have shown that girls start silencing themselves when their confidence begins to drop in elementary school. By nudging them to speak, we force them to practice articulating their thoughts and remind them that their opinions matter.
Help girls build resistance to gender bias and its negative impact by working against stereotypes. For example, go out of your way to engage your daughters and sons in tasks and activities that traditionally have been thought of as gender-specific in your family or community. For some that might mean having your daughter change a tire and tackle house repairs, while your son plans out meals for the next week and formats the family vacation photo book.
Encourage your daughters to take risks. Teach them that failure is fuel for learning. Coddling them, and protecting them from mistakes and loss, may make them feel incapable of doing certain things.
Call out when boys make demeaning stereotypes and comments about girls – regardless of whether the boys think they’re joking or just teasing. Often both adults’ and kids’ peers don’t know how to intervene when boys make demeaning remarks about girls and often they fear being written off or ridiculed as being too sensitive or reactionary. Yet tolerating those behaviors sends girls the message that those behaviors are okay. Try approaching it with a question, like “You don’t really think that, do you?”
Promote media literacy by pointing out and discussing common biases against girls in media and culture. Many TV movies and shows contain stereotypes, whether it’s a Disney fairy tale pre-oh, 2010?, to Gossip Girl, to reality shows that depict women as shallow, materialistic and maybe not that bright. When talking about these things, add your own life experience and perspectives, and encouragethem to question the actual truth of the images. This will help her distinguish between the messaging and reality.
Share your stories with your kids. Tell them about the time you had to stand up for yourself or someone else, or the time you experienced gender bias and how that made you feel. Doing so will help them feel more comfortable sharing their stories. It can also put a face on the issue for boys and men, and help them see the importance and impact of gender equality.
Advocate for and create environments (whether at church, work, school, etc.) that foster a variety of leadership styles, and promote diverse racial, ethnic, and gender representation. Frame diverse perspectives as “just as good as” or “equal to” the historically white male perspective.
These are the things that stood out most to me as doable and high-impact ways to help your kids understand, minimize the negative impact of, and fight against gender bias.
And for everyone – I know I’m throwing a lot at you here, but stick with me – the last tip is to periodically examine your own biases. A good starting point is to take an assessment online at Project Implicit. Project Implicit is nonprofit organization whose mission is to educate the public about bias and to provide a “virtual laboratory” for collecting data on the internet. They have 15 different tests – gauging bias based on race, age, weight, gender, etc. Every test is quick and feels a little like a game, but the results can reveal areas for improvement.
And regardless of your results,
Remember that it’s not enough to feel like you aren’t biased or that you’re not actively discriminating against girls or women – combating gender biases and inequality requires us to address structures, policies, and practices that contribute to pay gaps.
Just as it’s not enough to say you aren’t a racist, you have to actively combat systemic racism – it’s not enough to say you aren’t biased, you have to actively combat gender bias and gender inequality.
So as women, let’s celebrate each other and acknowledge how we’ve contributed in our own ways to gender equality. By getting another degree. By setting boundaries. By asking our partners to contribute more with caregiving duties. By talking about stereotypes in the media with our daughters and sons.
Let’s stand together and commit to being aware, speaking out, and keeping gender bias on the radar.
While we’ve made strides towards equality, there’s still progress to be made.
And with our help, the that progress will continue, and future will only get brighter, for everyone.
